When Liam O’Connell summoned you to his office, you were either getting promoted--or sent to the bottom of the Charles in a dozen pieces. In my case, I was pretty sure it was the latter. I was fresh off a job in New York, where I’d iced a fucking rat named Jimmy the Janitor with a high-powered rifle from two hundred yards. Then, I was out of the city and on Amtrak to Boston in less than forty-five minutes. If that don’t impress you, I don’t know what will.

There was no question that I’d performed flawlessly, which is why I was so puzzled when I got into Liam’s office and found the old bastard scowling like I’d just taken a dump on his wedding cake.

He said, “Finn, I got some bad news. Marla Kinney died this morning. She was shot.”

I was confused. Marla was the wife of John Patrick Kinney, our Irish rival gangster. There’d been a truce between the O’Connell and Kinney families for a few years, but it was pretty shaky.

“Sorry to hear that,” I said. “Marla was a babe. Who shot her?”

Liam glared at me again, his eyes like daggers. “You did, boyo.”

“Me?” I looked at the old bastard like he was losing his mind. “What the hell are you talking about, Liam? I did the job in New York. Marla Kinney was never even on my fucking radar.”

“Turns out she was fucking Jimmy the Janitor! Your 50-cal bullet went through his dumb skull and into her lung. She hung on a few more hours but eventually bled out. You killed her, Finn.”

My jaw clenched. “Well, obviously, she was a no-good fucking whore anyway. Kinney should be fucking thanking us for killing her.”

Liam shook his head. “I agree with you, Finn. In truth, Marla Kinney got exactly what she deserved. But Kinney doesn’t see it that way, so we’re going to have to put this mess behind us. We can’t afford to get caught up in their bullshit right now. So I’ve offered to make a trade. Unfortunately...”

The meaty hands of Liam’s bodyguard grabbed me around the neck from behind and lifted me off the floor. The guy was a big motherfucker, maybe six foot four, and close to three hundred pounds of solid muscle.

“...that trade is gonna cost you something very precious. You’re gonna have to replace what you took from him. You’re gonna have to replace Marla Kinney.”

My eyes opened wide. “What are you saying, Liam? That I have to get a sex change?”

I was half-joking, but Liam didn’t think it was funny. He just glared at me. That’s when I knew I was in serious trouble.

“I’m sorry, boyo,” he said. “I know it’s not what you wanted. You’re a man’s man. But that’s the way it’s got to be.”

I grabbed the guy’s hands and tried to push him away, but he was like a fucking mountain. He just tightened his grip and lifted me up to my tiptoes.

“I don’t want no fucking sex change, Liam,” I screamed at him. “I don’t want no fucking tits, and I don’t want no fucking pussy!”

The bodyguard grunted and squeezed my neck a little harder. I struggled for breath.

“I know you don’t, boyo,” Liam said. “But it’s either that or war with the Kinney clan. Our empire is more important than your feelings about getting your dick cut off.”

I was lightheaded. My hands clawed at Liam’s bodyguard’s arms, but he was a fucking tank. I was able to let out a final scream, but it got caught in my throat.

“Please, Liam!” I croaked. I could barely hear myself. “Please!”

“I’m sorry, Finn,” he said. “But I can’t change the terms of the deal. You’re going to get hormones and the operation, and then you’re going to marry Kinney and put this entire mess behind us.”

My head was spinning. My vision got blurry, and the last thing I remember was the guy’s hands tightening against my neck. I thought I was gonna die, and I thought that’d be fine. It really would’ve been better than what the fuck they had in mind for me.

They confined me to a little room in one of Liam’s houses upstate. I was so doped up on muscle relaxants that I hardly noticed anything. They hired some fancy doctor to visit me most mornings and give me hormone shots. The first injection made me feel kind of sick to my stomach, but then this crazy, warm pleasure started in my chest and seemed to spread all through me. It didn’t take a genius to figure out they’d laced the hormone shots with something like heroin.

The doctor had me on a strict diet. He said it would stimulate my metabolism and help me lose some weight. The only thing I thought was that it was the most delicious food I’d ever tasted. The protein shakes he put me on were sweet, creamy, and smooth. I took one every morning before I did anything else.

A couple of weeks later, my tits started to grow. It was weird. The doctor told me that they wouldn’t get too big but that they’d be pretty nice. My muscle mass was being replaced with fatty tissue, and I started to feel soft curves. I couldn’t stand looking at myself in the mirror, which was a problem since I spent so much time alone in that fucking room.

Every week some girl came to take my measurements. They checked my hips, waist, bust, and even my ass.

Finally, apparently, I had the right proportions, and the doctor said the operation was scheduled for the following week. I was terrified. Somehow, I’d thought Liam would change his mind and back out of the arrangement, but I guess I didn’t know him as well as I thought.

My last night as a man was pretty weird. Some girl named Anne from Liam’s family came by to check on me. She seemed nice enough, and she said a bunch of things I didn’t really understand about what it’s like to be a woman and what I had to look forward to. She left at around two in the morning. I thought about killing myself but couldn’t do it. Instead, I just cried myself to sleep.The operation was the most traumatic event of my life. I thought those guys had drugged me up pretty heavy before, but I was wrong. The pills were nothing compared to the gas they gave me. The whole procedure felt like it lasted years and years.I woke up with my throat all dry, and every time I tried to speak, I had a stupid new high-pitched voice, too!I waited for hours until I finally looked under the covers. When I did, I shrieked.It was the body of a woman. And it was my body.Everything about me was so weak and delicate. It scared the shit out of me.I cried harder than I ever had in my life.

For the next few days, Kinney took great pleasure in explaining the exact details of my new life.“You’ll learn to adjust,” he told me. “You’ll get used to being soft and delicate.”I wanted to kill him, but I could barely lift sit up, much less find the strength to fight him.“We’re getting married in a week,” he said. “I’ve got the ceremony all planned. The whole Kinney clan will be there, of course. They’ll be wearing their Sunday best and you’ll be wearing your wedding dress. You’ll make a beautiful bride.”The Ritz was all decorated for the wedding. The entire lobby was covered in purple fabric, and the ceilings were covered with real roses and fresh flowers. It smelled like a fucking flower shop, and I hated it.When “Here Comes the Bride” started playing, I thought I’d die. There I was in my wedding dress, walking out in front of everyone. The worst part? Kinney was right. I was a beautiful bride. But I didn’t feel like a bride. I felt like a man in a fancy dress. And yet I tasted the lipstick on my lips, felt my breasts bouncing, and felt that between my thighs, my once proud dick had been inverted and turned into a neat, delicate vagina.
I didn't want to marry Kinney. I didn’t want to marry anyone. I didn’t want to be a fucking girl. I was a man!But Kinney didn’t give a fuck about my feelings. He went to the front of the room and spoke into the microphone.“I'd like to start the ceremony,” he said. “Finn, will you come up here?”I was shaking like crazy. I held on to Liam-who was giving me away-and he led me to the middle of the room.The preacher started to tell me that I was making a promise for eternity. I tried not to cry. But as I looked up into Kinney’s hard eyes, I couldn’t stop myself.I was going to be someone’s wife.Then, suddenly, Kinney planted a kiss on my lips. It was over. I finally came to my senses on the wedding night. See, as I was getting fucked for the first time in my life, I came back to reality. I felt the bed shake as Liam pounded his cock into me. I looked down at my tits bouncing with every thrust of his hips. I looked down at my soft, smooth body and saw my pussy wrapped around his thick cock. I looked up at Kinney’s face, and I saw the glimmer of pleasure in his eyes. He was having the time of his life. He’d won. He’d broken me and made me into a woman, all because I'd killed his two-timing bitch of a wife. 

Then, one night as we lay sleeping, I realized something: No matter who I was or what I wanted to be, it doesn’t matter because it’s not my body that made me fucking who I am inside. It wasn’t my cock that made me who I was then, and it sure as hell ain’t my fucking pussy now.
And who was I? A killer. And Kinney was like any of the chickenshit bastards I’ve killed over the years. He was a coward who hid behind his power and used it to fuck with people. I thought that I was above that. I thought I was better than the rest of those shitty fucks. But the truth is that I’m just as chickenshit as the worst of them. I mean, what did I fucking allow Kinney to do to me? I let that fucker take everything I had and everything I was. 
But you know what happens to people who fuck with me?
They fucking die.
I woke Kinney up by cutting off his cock. And then I slit his fucking throat.
I moved quickly to consolidate my power. The Kinney clan was happy to keep the family business (and themselves) alive, and I was happy to be the new fucking boss.
I’m the new fucking queen.
My name is Finn, and you’d better learn to fucking love it.