(Every character depicted in the story below is a consenting legal adult over the age of 18)

A/N: All according to plan~

-x-X-x-

“I’m sure you can understand that you’ve put us in quite the difficult position, Mirko.”

“Fuck off.”

The bureaucrat from the Hero Commission carries on as though she didn’t hear her, continuing the mild-mannered dressing down.

“We’ve overlooked a lot from you over the years. But the Hero Commission cannot be seen to be playing favorites. The public are crying for justice. What would you have us tell them?”

Gritting her teeth, Mirko glares across the desk.

“Tell them the truth, that it was fucking Shroud!”

The other woman gives her an unimpressed look at that.

“Yes. Shroud who was seemingly alone on top of a random residential apartment building. Shroud, who you engaged without hesitation or concern for your surroundings. Shroud, who you claim then proceeded to destroy the entire building before vanishing without a trace.”

Mirko bristles at the disbelief in the bureaucrat’s tone. Especially because she can tell it’s not real… rather, the other woman simply doesn’t care. The Hero Commission has her dead to rights on this, so of course they aren’t going to investigate too closely or choose to believe her defense. Not when they can finally throw the fucking book at her.

Shroud had been completely right back on the roof. The recording he’d had her listen to… Mirko didn’t doubt it’s veracity for even a second. Of course, there was also the fact that he’d then gone on to fucking tip things over the edge for her, provoking her into that stupid fight and taking the building down around them in the process.

Now here she was, caught ‘red handed’ by the Hero Commission. And the worst part was… it was difficult to even defend herself because in this case, they were right. Forget that they were just looking for an excuse to punish her… at the end of the day, Mirko had played right into Shroud’s hands. She’d picked a bad fight and now it was coming back to bite her in her dark, toned ass.

“See this from our point of view, Mirko. We do not want to end your career as a Pro Hero outright, obviously. There are certain parties who might be calling for you to be removed from the roster or even thrown in jail, but that is not the desire of the Hero Commission.”

No, of course not. They just wanted to collar her. They wanted to bring her under their control. Mirko’s ears twitch as their words from the recording play back in her head.

"This is what happens when someone like her is allowed too much independence."

"We can use this as an opportunity to finally collar her, I should think."

They’d been wrong then, back when it had just been about the warehouse fight. Mirko had saved the hostages there at least, even if she’d lost to Shroud completely and utterly. But there was no such saving grace this time around. And with the opportunity presented to them…

“That said, it is the opinion of the Hero Commission that you must undergo remedial training at the bare minimum, Mirko.”

Twitching, Mirko snarls.

“Remedial training?!”

The bureaucrat barely blinks, simply nodding along as though it was inevitable.

“Rather than revoke your Pro Hero License entirely, we’ll be suspending it temporarily. You’ll be on probation for the next year, in which time we believe you would be best suited taking up residence at one of the many Hero Agencies that Japan has to offer. Either that, or you can place yourself directly under the Commission’s authority to show proper contrition for your actions.”

Oh this bitch… Mirko bristles and growls… but then deflates. On the one hand, it fucking sucked to have walked into this damn trap even after having Shroud spell it all out for her. On the other hand, she’d done this to herself in a lot of ways. That didn’t mean she was just going to roll over and play dead though.

… Unfortunately, the Hero Commission had a hell of a lot of authority here… more than some would say they should. But in this case, Mirko didn’t have much in the form of recourse. If she wanted to stay a hero, if she wanted to avoid being labeled a villain… she had to play ball.

Forget joining up with the Commission directly though. Fuck that shit. If she had to go through ‘remedial training’, she’d fucking join a Hero Agency worth a damn.

“Fine. I’ll join up with Ryukyu’s Hero Agency then.”

The other Pro Hero was perhaps one of the more tolerable of her peers, even if she’d fallen down in the rankings over the years. She was around the forties these days from what Mirko knew, but that didn’t really matter that much in the grand scheme of things. What was important was that Ryukyu understood better than most how sometimes you just had to let loose to defeat a villain.

She would-

“I’m afraid that’s not an option, Mirko.”

What? Mirko’s red eyes snap to the bureaucrat’s face, narrowing in disbelief.

“Excuse me? You just said-!”

“My apologies, I had not finished explaining the Hero Commission’s proposal. In light of your… history of recklessness and irresponsibility, we feel that for this probation to actually be successful in reforming you, we must limit your options.”

As Mirko sits there staring across the desk in disbelief, the other woman pulls out a paper and slides it over to her.

“Here is the list of pre-approved Hero Agencies where we think you would be best suited.”

Slowly, Mirko lowers her eyes and begins to read. As she does so, her anger only grows. Each and every Agency proposed by the Hero Commission is so obviously in their pocket it’s not even funny. All of them are helmed by heroes who the Hero Commission personally championed, and while a few like Hawk are pretty respectable, it doesn’t mean Mirko wants to spend time getting ‘training’ from them. Fuck, half of them are younger than her at this point!

And of course, the Hero Commission itself is also on the list near the bottom. Also near the bottom though is something unexpected. Mirko blinks, caught off guard by the addition of PDN’s Phoenix Program of all things. Her nose wrinkles and she taps it on the paper.

“The Phoenix Program? Isn’t that for villains?”

The bureaucrat’s smile grows and becomes something particularly… venomous as she lets out a light chuckle.

“Ah, well… it was a last minute addition. The Phoenix Program is all about redemption, after all. Perhaps you would be right at home there among such… misfits.”

An insult. That’s what it was meant to be. It was a jab of all things. Mirko stares, first at the woman and then down at the list of preapproved agencies. They’d slapped the Phoenix Program on the list to mock her, to basically make it clear that they saw her as no different than a villain.

… Or at least, that’s probably what Mirko might have thought if this whole situation had been more of an ambush. If she’d been brought in and blindsided by all of this, instead of prepared by Shroud, she wouldn’t have given the option of the Phoenix Program a second glance.

However, between the Hero Commission’s petty mind games and power plays and Shroud’s confidence that she would eventually have no choice but to join him… Mirko wasn’t feeling like playing into either of their hands. And wouldn’t you know it; they’d given her the perfect way out.

“You know what… you’re right.”

The woman from the Hero Commission looks pleased for a moment before Mirko taps the paper with a feral grin and makes it clear exactly what she’s agreeing with.

“I’ll join up with PDN and the Phoenix Program.”

The smile on the bureaucrat’s face drops in an instant, her composure cracking for the first time since this godawful meeting began.

“Excuse me? Out of all of your options… you’re going with them?”

Mirko shrugs, having no regrets. In fact, every second that passes makes her feel even better about this decision. She’s doing the exact opposite of what both the Hero Commission AND Shroud want from her. She’s sticking it to both of them with this maneuver.

“Sure, why not? Like you said, seems like I’ll be right at home with them.”

Incredulous, the other woman shakes her head.

“Right at home. With a bunch of villains.”

The sheer disbelief and derision in her voice makes Mirko want to laugh. But she holds it in, just continuing to grin.

“Reformed heroes now, aren’t they? And besides, I’ve heard nothing but good things about Blonde Blazer. Always wondered what it would be like, working with her. Guess now I’ll finally get the chance.”

Truthfully, she’d never wondered such things. While Mirko had heard that Blonde Blazer was a pretty damn good fighter, she’d never truly been interested in working alongside the other woman. Mostly because Blazer was pretty much bargain bin All Might.

And to be fair, even a bargain bin All Might wasn’t half bad… but it wasn’t All Might. Nobody could ever really fill his shoes and while Blonde Blazer didn’t necessarily try to do so, she was still constantly compared to him and often likened to little more than a pale imitation at best.

That said, if the choice was between the Phoenix Program and being shackled to the Hero Commission or one of their pet agencies, Mirko knew what she was picking. This was the option that would make both the Hero Commission and Shroud as angry as possible… so obviously, she was going to do it.

-x-X-x-

“Everyone gather around, I have an exciting announcement to make. Mirko the Rabbit Hero is going to be joining the Phoenix Program from now on, so please everyone make sure to give her a warm welcome to the team!”

Izuku watches on with hidden amusement as silence reigns for a moment before half of the women in the room all start trying to talk at once. The general vibe is one of confusion but also elation, even as Mirko stands next to Blazer with her arms crossed over her chest and an unreadable expression on her face.

All according to plan. It hadn’t been particularly difficult to make it happen, in the end. After giving the Hero Commission reason to come down on Mirko like a ton of bricks, they had held another meeting to decide her fate. Using his sources within the Commission to push them down this path had been simple enough… and it had even been relatively easy to manipulate them into thinking that adding the Phoenix Program to their short list of approved agencies was their idea.

After all, it was quite the funny little insult, right? Mirko the Rabbit Hero would never actually lower herself to working with a bunch of former villains… right?

Izuku, obviously, had known better. Mirko had done exactly as he thought she would, choosing the option that she felt would piss off the most powerful people while getting her what she wanted. In this case, she would still be on the streets fighting crime. She would still be doing her work as a Pro Hero. She’d just be doing it as part of PDN now… specifically as part of the Phoenix Program, at least for the next year.

Mirko would provide a shining example of rebellious heroism for the other members of the Phoenix Program. After all, Izuku couldn’t rely on all of them to decide to come clean just because they’d had amazing threeway sex with him and Mei. Malevola was an edge case in that regard.

But between Blonde Blazer being who she was and Mirko being who she was, Izuku figured the pair would act as role models that would eventually break his moles out of their shells and see them finally turning on Shroud to become true, proper Pro Heroes.

Indeed, Izuku can already see the hero worship for Mirko shining in the eyes of some of the girls. Uravity, for instance, looks amazed that they’re now going to be fighting alongside her. La Brava too. Invisigal though… her eyes are narrowed in suspicion, Izuku finds. Surely Courtney doesn’t think Mirko is a plant as well, does she?

Eventually, Blazer manages to institute order over the group, getting them all to quiet down and stop trying to talk over each other. Letting out a breezy laugh that only sounds a little forced, she plants her hands on her hips and smiles.

“I know you all are excited, but let’s remember that Mirko is here for the same reason we all are… to help innocents and take down villains. Let’s not treat her any differently than we treat each other, alright? And on that note… let’s all get to work!”

Izuku, nursing a cup of coffee, shrugs and begins making his way over to his desk. Time for another shift of dispatching these heroines all over the place, he supposed. Now with a fair bit of extra ‘firepower’ in the form of Mirko the Rabbit Hero.

Though even as he goes he can feel her eyes on his back, heh. It leaves him wondering just how long it’ll be before she approaches him to find out what his deal is.

-x-X-x-

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