Alden Thorn was in the living room with his feet propped up on the sofa and his computer in his lap when he realized that Tuesday, December 18th was the first day of a special time in his life. He gazed at his upcoming schedule in his Happy Avowed Days program while the Bromelimas tree lights cycled through colors.

“I don’t have to do anything for two weeks. More than two weeks.”

“Don’t you have a couple of finals left? And gym classes on Wednesday and Friday.” Lexi was the only other person in the apartment this afternoon. He’d said the library was too crowded for studying, so he was sitting in his favorite armchair, going through flashcards.

“But that’s nothing,” said Alden. “That plus one day with my aunt, one training session with Bobby, and a meeting with Esh-erdi…I haven’t obligated myself to anything else.”

Finals week at Celena North didn’t include regularly scheduled classes. With the exception of their MPE course, it was all just the exams. And Alden didn’t have a visit to the Triplanets planned. He might make an appointment with Healer Yenu during their next call, but with Stuart’s weekend just having ended, it would likely be a quick trip.

He hadn’t accidentally volunteered to host any holiday parties for the wizards at Matadero. He didn’t need to study more to survive his finals. Science should have been the hardest, and he’d scored a ninety on it this morning.

He was not being treated for injuries by Porti-loth. There was no disaster. He didn’t need to practice killing demonized bokabvs.

“I’m so glad I dueled Winston yesterday. If I hadn’t, I’d feel like I should spend more time preparing for that one fight to keep my promise to Max. But I did win against him. And now…there’s almost nothing I have to do. For two weeks.”

“That’s how school breaks usually work.”

“I think I’m very happy.”

“I’m glad for you. Stop talking to me about it. I’m trying to concentrate.”

Alden shut up, but on the inside, he was still oohing and aahing at all the wide-open time blocks he saw ahead of him. And he was having a minor revelation.

I don’t have any of that background anxiety about needing to prepare myself for future Thegund-like situations right now. It’s been fading in and out for a while, but at this particular second, it’s not there at all. I can’t even find it if I try. That’s why I’m not seeing these blocks as slots that are obviously for training.

He typed “Skill Practice” in for this evening. He almost always did some kind of skill practice in the evenings on days when he didn’t have MPE. It was nothing special. Except that today he didn’t feel, even a little bit, like he had to train or ought to. It was just…an option.

I’m looking forward to it more than usual. Because there’s not even a speck of fear or other personal hang-ups making me do it. This is neat. Now I can add a morning session for tomorrow. And then…

Is this a bad idea?

What if typing too many training things onto the schedule like normal kills this mood I’m in?

Lexi jumped at the sound of the laptop lid slamming. “What was that for?”

“I don’t think micromanaging my break is right,” Alden answered. “I think it might be dangerous. What if I just do what I feel like for two days…or three days? I will spend three whole days not feeling obligated to do anything. And then I’ll be cured.”

“Of what?”

“My issues.”

“Let me remind you again that you still have finals and MPE.”

“Those aren’t problems,” Alden said dismissively. “They’re just going to happen. I’m going to do whatever I want the rest of the time.”

What he wanted…actually, what he wanted was to cast spells, but he’d done that before he sat down here to work on his schedule. He couldn’t pressure reality into doing his bidding very well right now, and just casting a little thing like the hand sanitizer spell wasn’t going to be much of an activity.

“Can you do it quietly?” Lexi asked.

Alden jumped to his feet. “I might go find out what everybody’s doing in the common area and join them. I might ride the roller coaster in F if it’s still there…no, there’s too much other stuff I haven’t tried. I should branch out. I’m going to go experience something that’s happening somewhere.”

He went to put on shoes.

When he came back through, Lexi said, “Have a good time doing whatever you’re going to do wherever you’re going to do it.”

Well wishes from a busy Lexi? Now I know I’m onto something.

******

A group of hero program first years were using the common area downstairs, but they weren’t students from Alden’s class, and they weren’t doing anything he wanted to join in with. It seemed like they’d gathered here for a study session that had turned into a discussion focused on the two members of the group who were on their way to Elites next term.

Both of the future Elites had taken seats side-by-side on a sofa. Most of the others were sitting on the floor around a low table covered in notebooks, drinks, and tablets. The positioning made it look almost like the two Elite guys were holding court, even though they were wearing rumpled school uniforms and passing around a bag of chips with everyone else.

“Aren’t you worried about getting dropped from the program after you join?” a boy on the floor asked. “Even a little? I’m not saying I think either of you will, but the leveling requirement is too much. Like the faculty said when they called us all in to talk, it’s—”

“Don’t bring that up after they’ve made up their minds,” another guy said. “Just congratulate them.”

Alden headed over to the dorm’s notice board.

“Ibra, what else could the faculty say?” Alden couldn’t see the speaker anymore unless he turned and looked, but he suspected from the tone that whichever one of them was talking was rolling his eyes. “They had to think of reasons to keep us all from leaving, whether they were good ones or not. I think they chose bad ones. They went with saying that it’s rare for someone to level that much in three years, even at our age, and trying to scare us about what will happen if we fail out of Elites and end up in a regular talent development program that gives less instruction than Celena does.”

“Those seem like fair points, though, Garsy.”

Garsy. Former friend of Lexi’s who stopped being friendly when he got his S and Lexi got nothing. Alden did look over then so that he could put a face to the person Haoyu had called an esshole.

“Do they really?” Garsy asked.

Haoyu had also described Garsy as ugly, but that was, as Alden had suspected at the time, just Haoyu trying to be funny to lighten Lexi’s mood. Garsy was fit, with deep-set brown eyes. His dark brown hair was shaved on the sides and softly spiked on top.

Probably average for an Apex hero program teenager without Appeal points? Above average everywhere else, Alden decided.

The other future Elite sitting beside him was skinny, with a large Adam’s apple and a wide smile. “It sounded like they were trying to convince us the lukewarm option was better than the hot one,” he said. “I didn’t come to this school for lukewarm. They lost me at that meeting.”

“I feel the same,” Garsy said. “I signed up for an intense leveling program. Elites is promising a better intense leveling program. I have nothing against Celena North, but I don’t see how anyone who came here to get stronger can be satisfied staying when Li Jean is next door trying to keep themselves on the cutting edge. It’s rare to get four levels in a year? It’s super rare for someone to consistently do that throughout high school? So what? Don’t you want to be in the place that’s trying for it instead of the one that’s not?

“You should change your mind and come with us, Ibra. This is our peak window for leveling. Don’t waste it here. Don’t be that person who regrets falling way behind when you meet us at an interschool event.”

“Now you’re the one I have to ask not to bring up stuff to a person who’s already made up his mind, Garsy,” said the boy sitting beside Ibra.

“I’m trying to help him. I’d be saying the same thing to all of you if Elites accepted A’s. It’s like the ones who are staying came this far to be the best, but they’re refusing to go one step further. We’re supposed to be chasing after our dreams here. How small are your dreams that you won’t take a little risk for them? Mine need me to take every opportunity that comes my way. I don’t want to get paid to have my face on some random product like a bottle of Garsy Dish Soap; I want to be so recognizable that my name is the first word human babies learn.”

Alden’s eyebrows shot up.

“And I don’t want to shake hands with the mayor of some city I barely remember from geography,” Garsy continued. “I want UN delegates to faint when they find out Anesidora has sent me to talk to them.”

Alden stared at him. Are they going to faint because they’re fans or because they’re terrified of him?

“Dream bigger, Ibra,” said the one sitting beside him. “Or you’ll get left in our dust.”

The oddest thing was that none of the people were acting like what the future Elites were saying was funny. Or crazy.

Maybe they talk like this all the time?

“We’re S-ranks,” Garsy said. “If there’s anyone who can really, truly find out what it means to be on top, it’s us. I’m not going to ignore that.”

I think I’m glad I missed out on being in class with them.

Alden imagined a baby saying “Garsy” instead of “Dada.” He wasn’t sure if he should shudder or laugh.

Lexi was friends with a megalomaniac.

I really want to ask him and Haoyu questions about this guy now.

He let his attention return to the notice board. It was something he saw every time he entered Garden Hall, but he rarely looked at it closely. And looking at it while thinking he might want to do some of the activities on it was an even more novel occurrence. A wooden frame shaped like winding ivy vines enclosed a screen where digital notes were posted. There were a ton.

He enjoyed browsing for several minutes, imagining himself doing all kinds of things for the heck of it. Why not play with the table tennis club, learn to tap dance, or go to a lecture on extraterrestrial pollinators this afternoon?

Plenty of choices. But he worried the satisfaction of knowing he could do those things if he wanted was probably better than the activities themselves would be.

Entertaining myself isn’t usually this difficult. I did a decent job of it at the challenge tower. Maybe I’ll go and try to climb up those human hamster tubes on the second floor.

“If in doubt, pick the one that won’t be happening again anytime soon.”

The voice from right behind Alden came as a surprise. He stepped aside automatically, afraid he’d been hogging the board, then realized the speaker was someone he knew.

“Rahul.”

The president of the B-list was carrying his weapon case in one hand, and he had a worn black backpack slung over his shoulder.

“I was upstairs talking to Francis, and when I came down, I saw you were focused on the options for today’s campus events,” he said. “So I guessed you were trying to choose one.”

“I was.”

The Wright nodded. “Good. I haven’t had a chance to be the kind of cool senior who mentors new students since you and Max arrived. And doing that kind of thing was one of my goals for my third year. So I’ll try to slip a little advice in where I see an opportunity.”

“I thought you were cool when you came to see what I needed on Thanksgiving,” said Alden. “I look up to you for your sensibleness in the face of that mishap.”

“Was it a mishap?”

“The scale of it was a mishap.”

“You pulled it off.” Rahul came to stand right beside him at the board. “If you’re not going to the B-list’s cram session tonight, then maybe do one of the Christmas things. Club meetings are happening all the time, and a lot of the life skills classes recur monthly. But anything that’s tied to a specific holiday only happens once a year. So you don’t get that many chances to do them. And definitely try to get to this one if you can. I went for the first time last year, and I was so annoyed with myself for skipping it before.”

He dragged a note across the board toward Alden.

5th Annual Superhero Snowball Fight

MPE Gymnasium

Sunday, December 23

4:00 PM

“It’s good,” said Rahul. “Show up early, put on your suit, and cheer as loud as you can for whichever faculty member you think likes you best and they might even let you join in. As a target.”

“Thanks for the tip. I don’t want to miss out on something called Superhero Snowball Fight.”

“My duty as a third year is done,” Rahul said. “I can become a full-time uni student with no guilt now.”

“Congrats on graduating.”

“Thanks, Alden. Sorry I’m leaving the club while it’s a mess, but there’s nothing I can do to put it all back together in the next half a week.”

“I’m sorry I never participated in anything but gym time,” said Alden.

“Don’t be. Max didn’t either. The club’s just there for the B-rank bonding experience if you need it. It seems like you two ended up in a decent situation with your incoming class. Not everyone does. Not every MPE class is easy. If you hit a wall or get frustrated next term, or in the middle of second year—whenever—The B List is supposed to be a place where you can relax and reorient yourself.”

He went quiet and glanced toward the common room. The group was still talking about Elites. Alden hadn’t noticed until just now.

“Constantly giving a hundred percent to keep pace in MPE can wear you down,” Rahul said. “And sometimes as the lowest rank allowed in the program, you give a hundred percent, and you fail anyway. Instead of blowing up or giving up, hopefully you go to the club and they remind you to stay on track. So…do that if you ever need to. Or call me. I’m not disappearing to a foreign planet. I’m just going to be on the other half of campus. And the B-rank family is so small in Talent Dev that I can keep up with uni people and high school people.”

He’s a nice guy.

“I’ll call you,” said Alden. “Especially if I ever need to shoot someone with a garden gnome.”

Rahul slapped his case. “Anytime.”

He pointed out a few more things he liked on the notice board. Before he left, under his breath, he added, “Good work on that duel versus the Speed Brute.”

“You heard about that?” Alden asked. “Or…saw it?”

“Heard. Francis told me. He wants the video of it, but hasn’t managed to find anyone who’ll give it to him yet. I thought after hearing about that and a couple of other things, I should warn you that excelling as a B-rank comes with its own frustrations. I know that’s probably obvious, but just in case you needed to hear it. Don’t let it stop you from outshining them if you can. You’re trying to get more powerful so that you can do whatever kind of hero work you’re interested in. Keep your eyes on that and don’t let anyone drag you down.”

“I…I’ll try.”

Rahul left, and Alden headed out a few minutes later.

He went to Reindeer Selection at the university track, where people were competing for the honor of being the reindeer who would pull Celena North’s sleigh in a race at the Anthropodrome. He happened to run into Everly there, and they both clapped for a team who made their practice sleigh glide along on ice sheets.

“I never see you at things like this,” she said, her snowball drone whizzing back down to her hand after the race was over.

“I don’t usually have free time.”

“You should make some. We only get to be high schoolers once, don’t we?”

After that, he headed to Cafeteria North for the next Christmas-themed event on the schedule—The Lighting of the Waffle Cart.

It turned out to be even more ridiculous than the name suggested. A band was playing holiday music, and two hundred people were there to watch the waffle cart arrive in the faux town square. A drumroll preceded the moment when the cart was lit by a single strand of colored lights. People screamed and hugged their neighbors, and a girl in a Santa hat grabbed Alden’s arm and said, “It’s so breathtaking! The beauty…the beauty…” with tears welling in her eyes.

That was a weird one, he thought on his way back to the dorm. Finding out about a campus tradition wasn’t bad, though. Maybe one day he’d be the third year, or the college student, confusing newbies by acting like the waffle cart with its dinky strand of lights was the essence of the holiday.

I could be. That door hasn’t closed.

He passed by the bench he’d sat on after the interview, when Klein had told him he had no future as a superhero because one skill wasn’t enough. Then he stopped and went back to sit on it. He leaned back and looked up into the branches of the small tree that sheltered the seat, the same way he had that day.

Evening was approaching. While he stared up at the leaves, noting that they weren’t much like the long blade-shaped ones he saw every time he visited Rapport I opened his spell book to the page he’d marked, his interface translated someone passing by on the walkway. She’d just had a crushing experience in a political science exam.

Alden closed his eyes and studied himself. The skill. The free authority that would be bound into the skill. Both were growing.

I want…to try the summoning spell.

The one in his book that would make things fly through the air toward him. If he could master it over the break, that would be fun.

Eventually, he’d have to affix again, and when he did, he’d lose that fun for a time. He made himself look at that for a minute, too.

Maybe it was good to imagine affixation after you’d been watching Avowed reindeer races. His jaw was clenching, but he wasn’t going to puke.

The beauty…the beauty…

Almost as soon as the girl had said that, even with “Jingle Bells” playing and people losing their minds over a barely-decorated waffle cart, Alden’s thoughts had gone to a much quieter place.

To a spiny, hard thing that would endure harsh waters. And the delicate, jelly butterfly with the glowing blue pulse that would be born from it.

To what Stu-art’h believed about beauty. And life. And power.

I like what he believes. It’s noble. Self-sacrificing. Hopeful. It’s very him.

Meanwhile I’ve been unwittingly living under the same roof as Garsy, who wants power so that babies will say his name and world leaders will faint at the sight of him, and that’s…what’s with that? It sounds more disturbing every time I think it over…it had to be an attempt at humor. And nobody laughed because his delivery was off.

And there’s Rahul, who thinks I’m going to have a normal B-rank growth trajectory and who hopes I’ll keep my eyes on my goal of being some kind of superhero.

Where do I place myself in it all? Dimensions away from Garsy, clearly. But ignoring him…

Does Stuart think I’m the spiky patient creature? Or the life that it protects?

He didn’t want to be either.

He wanted the river to stop forcing questions like that on people.

“Alden, are you sleeping on a bench?”

“No, I’m just sitting here.” He straightened and saw Haoyu standing in front of him. “Thinking.”

“What about?”

“About how much easier life would be if I were a reindeer instead of an Avowed.”

“Finals broke you,” Haoyu said sadly.

“No. I had a good day. I’m going to practice with my skill later. Because I want to. I’m only doing things I want to do for three days. You can punch stuff while I preserve it if you’re interested.”

“You know I like to do that.”

“Just as long as you don’t miss and hit me,” said Alden, rising.

“Do I look like someone who’d hit a reindeer?” Haoyu asked. “Where’s our Nine-edged Son?”

“He’s at Garden Hall. I felt like walking and appreciating all the Christmas decorations.”

“Yeah, they’re neat. If only there were some bromeliads, they’d be even better.”